A Letter From the Heart
What is the 4R's Tutoring Society? It is the place that has helped my son - a small institution that believes all children can learn. It is the place I ended up when every other route I tried had failed: the place where, as a parent of a child who has learning difficulties I learned an enormous amount about learning myself.
I always knew my son was capable - he learns differently, it is true, but his school experiences were less than happy. He wasn't just an ‘average' kid. The general consensus was that my child just wasn't going to get it! He was to be held back at the end of the school year. After numerous meetings and emotional upsets at school and at home I followed advice and met with the mental health professionals. I attended a valuable course on ADD/ADHD but my child does not have this particular learning difficulty. He was evaluated by other tutoring agencies who generally agreed he was way above average in some areas and extremely far behind in others. Only by chance did I hear of the 4R's Tutoring Society. Again I sent my child for an evaluation. The pressure on him from his school problems and all the testing was causing great strain. He had lost all his happiness and self-esteem. He believed he was incapable of being "normal". I left him at his assessment with great hopes and fears. Where would we turn after this?
The results were the same: very high in some areas, very low in others. Only this time it was a happy, positive person talking to me; one who seemed to have a great, true sense of understanding. She was the first person who assured me that my son would learn and was very capable. She believed he would catch up. Finally we had relief. 4R's is very aware of what learning differences are. They test in order to begin teaching at the level of the problem. This saves an enormous amount of time and money and immediately made my son feel successful. The smiles started to come back. The support he received was contagious. 4R's not only helped build his self-esteem and taught him how to cope with his difficulties in the classroom, but they helped me go back to believing in my child and in the system. They brought our whole home back to being a family. My son has been learning. In fact, he has caught up. Without all the stress and heartache of believing he'd never get it, everything is calmer. I truly believe that if 4R's had not taught him in the manner in which he can comprehend, I would have ended up with a very sad, troubled child. He is still in the public system, attending every day in his correct grade level. He is succeeding.
My son cherishes his teacher. She made him feel good. She allowed him his mistakes without taking his self-esteem away. She gave it back to him. With his new-found confidence he will try to learn anything. He has become a magnet for the fun aspect of learning. Life is not all a breeze with child-rearing but now we deal with normal everyday problems instead of the huge crisis of believing my child is so very "different". He no longer gets in trouble at school. His teacher read him something one day which I feel I need to quote:
WINNING:
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't it's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find success begins with a fellow's will;
it's all in the state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins IS THE ONE WHO THINKS HE CAN.
This now hangs in our kitchen and we read it often. 4R's not only taught my son how to read, they taught him how to live.
4R's has helped me to realize more about the school system than anyone can imagine. The biggest thing is the positive. Even when I was sure the school was no good for my child 4R's always helped me to understand what the school was trying to do and helped turn my negativity about public school back to positive.Not only does my son now have a respect and liking for his public school teacher, but so do I. When you have a child with a learning difficulty it feels like there is no help out there. 4R's helped me to understand new ways to deal with this. They showed me a positive way of looking at it. We are all different and learn differently. Some learn extremely fast and some learn slower. My son has attended 4R's for 11 months including summer classes. Because of his happy, healthy outlook on school and day to day life, I will never regret that time, or the cost. He will always attend as he needs it.
I personally believe the 4R's teachers really like helping and teaching. It is not just a job, it is their success. 4R's accomplishment is in the success and faces of their students; they know they have helped. It is a total learning experience. I believe their students thrive and do well not only because they learn to read and do math but because they learn to like themselves and to cope with their personal difficulties. Saying "Thank you" will never be enough. I will always try to pass the 4R's name to help others in my situation. The 4R's Society becomes part of the family. If you are trying to get help for your child and just can't seem to find it, take it from me, save time and money by going to 4R's first. As a fellow parent I guarantee you'll end up with some of the success you and your child need.
I thank the whole 4R's Society from the bottom of my heart.
Name withheld by request.
p.s. I am not getting paid to write this, I really feel this way.
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